Sketch summary:
A story can be told in many different ways. When you are sharing the story of Jesus the lamb of God, you want to be as clear and concise as can you can. Today the story of Mary Had A Little Lamb was told in three wrong ways that we could tend to fall into. One uses technical jargon or Christianize, another is judgemental and a third is distracted. During the actual performance, the actors were stopped before completing their story. We have included the full story here for your entertainment.
Cast:
Technical storyteller - Eric Edmond
Judgemental storyteller - Nina Welding
Distracted storyteller - Julie Havens
Credits:
Director - Jeanne Fox
Authors - Three of us had the pleasure of being able to write today's sketch.
Technical Story - Harold Rodgers
Judgemental Story - Jeanne Fox
Distracted Story - Nina Welding
Mary possessed a diminutive adolescent ovis aries.
It’s filamentous matter was lacking color so much that it appeared similar
to precipitation in the form of ice crystals intricately branched into a hexagonal form.
And in each location that Mary traversed, the adolescent ovis aries in most definite certainty accompanied her in travel.
The adolescent ovis aries moved behind her in the same direction to an institution of instruction during a particular 24 hour period.
This event of the adolescent ovis aries at the institution of instruction caused the persons of few years to express pleasure by expulsing air from their lungs in an audible manner in punctuated bursts in addition to causing them to exercise themselves in amusement.
Therefore the instructor at the institution of instruction forcibly removed the adolescent ovis aries, but it passed time aimlessly in close proximity, And it remained in readiness in a manner that was calm and without complaint until such point that Mary became visible.
“Why does the adolescent ovis aries exhibit a profoundly tender affection for Mary?” exclaimed the impatient persons of few years.
“Why, Mary exhibits a profoundly tender affection for the adolescent ovis aries, of which you should be cognizant”, the instructor at the institution of instruction expressed using words in response to the interrogative sentence form.
There was this country bumpkin kid named Mary who had a farm animal for a pet, a lamb. There wasn’t anything special about the animal, just a dingy white lamb.
Well, obviously Mary had never heard about leash laws because this barnyard animal ran loose, following her anywhere she went.Wouldn ’t you know, one day the mangy thing followed her to school. Now everyone knows that it is against the rules to bring your pets to school. So here is this lamb without a leash or a cage or anything to contain it, runninghelter-skelter everywhere. You can imagine the raucous that caused among the other students! They were laughing and carrying on something awful. Well, the teacher would have none of it and turned the mongrel out. But the stupid thingwouldn ’t leave. It just sat outside the school for the whole day until Mary came out. “What is the deal with the lamb and Mary?” the kids asked. The teacher told them, “Mary has issues. She obviously has problems with co-dependence and obsession.”
Like don't you just love the different pets people have today. My friend Mitzy has an iguana, like gross. And, Buffy has one of those little potbelly pigs. It's the cutest thing. Some people compare them to dogs, but I like dogs much better. You know, man's best friend and all. Anyway, Mary, she's this girl I used to know, had the strangest pet I've ever heard of. Like a lamb, you know, sheep, like "Baa, baa." And, it's like
not one of those cute little black sheep you see at the petting zoo with the llamas and goats. Don't you love petting zoos, the animals are so cute, except you can only give them those like totally noxious pellets, and then they like lick your hands.Eewh .. Well, Mary's like little sheep, I don't know if it was a boy or girl sheep, but it, yeah, it followed her everywhere. Like one day, it followed her to school and
like totally caused a riot 'cause no one's supposed to bring pets to school unless it's like show-and-tell or something. But they don't do show-and-tell unless you're in kindergarten or something so, like Mary got in mega trouble. The teacher even shoved the little thing out the door. The sheep, not Mary. Duh. Can you imagine, a poor little lamb. Like what would PETA say about that! Not like it's on the endangered list or anything, but I mean, really, way to dis a sheep. But like, it
stayed around all day. Like through lunch and like the whole day, waiting for Mary. Not that she could have cut class or anything because the teacher was like reallly watching, and the kids kept asking about the thing. Most of them had never seen a sheep before, not up close or anything, cause school's like not in the country or near a farm or anyplace you'd usually see a sheep. The closest most of the kids got to a sheep was the wool in those boots that are made in like Australia.Uggs
or something like that. Anyway, the teacher told them to get back to work cause like the lamb is not going to be on the final and Mary needed to just get overitt.
Behind the scenes:
I knew that memorizing the Technical story would not be easy. When I approached Eric and asked him about the part, he said "Harold....you gotta be kidding me....you want me to memorize this?" After a few more e-mails and an offer for him to do the Judgemental one, Eric agreed to do the technical story. When he showed up for practice Wednesday evening he pretty much had it nailed. Amazing! Then, Sunday morning not only did he have the lines down, he had the delivery down also. Eric, "you da man!"
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