Ned's Acute Ability

Sunday 30 September 2007

Sketch summary: Penny and Amy are at a restaurant prior to ordering. Penny is talking about a small group she is in that recently were talking about passions. Everyone else mentioned noble passions like serving, helping the poor and making a difference. Penny told them her passion was shopping. Ned the waiter arrives at the table. You can tell from Ned's appearance that he's a little different. Penny gives her order, which consists of a number of specifics as to how she wants things prepared. Amy then gives her order which she keeps changing. Meanwhile Ned has written none of this down. When asked, he explains that memorization is one of his abilities and that it's his pleasure to use this ability to serve them. He also explains that he memorized the entire non-fiction section of the library's book titles and authors. They decline testing him on it. He leaves to get their drinks. Amy mentions to Penny that she has a library book in her car and that they could quiz him on it. The book is "The Garden In Autumn". From back stage we hear Ned call out "Allen Lacy". He returns with the drinks and explains that another ability he has is an acute sense of hearing. Ned explains that each human has between 500 and 800 abilities. Penny is adamant that Ned not show them how he can squirt milk out his tear ducts or turn his eyelids inside out. Penny allows him to discern her occupation by looking at her hand. Ned takes her hand, strokes it and smells it while saying he sees dead presidents, strips of paper and hand sanitizer. He declares she is a bank teller. Amy is amazed and asks "you could tell that from my hand?" He confesses that he saw her at the bank a couple weeks back when he was making a deposit, but "I got to hold your hand." He then snorts a chuckle. Ned hears his boss enter the kitchen and leaves. Penny declares "The nerve of that guy." Amy responds "I kind of like him." We hear Ned snort chuckle from back stage.

Cast:
Penny Persnickity - Jeanne Fox
Amy Ambivalent - Karen Hosinski
Ned Nerdly - Steve Matteson

Credits:
Director - Harold Rodgers
Author - Harold Rodgers