Sketch summary: We can live our lives in spiritual rags, but riches await us.
Cast:
Ted – Harold Rodgers
Jack - Craige Johnson
Emily - Nina Welding
Credits:
Director - Jeanne Fox
Author – Jeanne Fox
Script:
Setting Scene 1: In a back alley sits a cardboard box. Inside a homeless man, Ted, is curled up. Soon, Jack also homeless, arrives and kicks him out. Emily, a social worker stops by and is looking for an Alexander Rothschild whom she suspects is Jack. An inheritance awaits him.
Setting Scene 2: The cardboard box now just has a blanket and some pillows. A man in a suit walks up to the box, knocks and calls out for Ted. We recognize the voice as that of Jack. Jack looks around for Ted, who is not to be found. He looks at the box contemplating his past. He pulls out a wad of bills, slides it under the blanket. Jack begins to leave, looks back momentarily at the box, then leaves.
SCENE 1
(JACK makes his way through the audience begging for money. He approaches the stage where the box is located)
JACK
Can you spare some change?
How about a buck for a burger.
You look like you could spare a few dead presidents.
Obama's looking for change and so am I.
(Jack arrives at the box and sees Ted in it. He kicks the box to get Ted out.)
JACK
Ted, what do you think you doing?
TED
Just keeping it warm for you, Jack.
(scrambles out)
JACK
This is my box. Don’t you even think about moving in here.
TED
Sorry Jack, I was just trying to stay out of the wind a bit.
JACK
Well, find your own box then.
(Jack crawls into the box.)
TED
Hey, Jack, that social worker lady was around here looking for you.
JACK
What does she want?
TED
I don’t know. But she said she’d come back around later. Are you gonna run away?
JACK
Why? So you can take my box?
TED
No, Jack, nothing like that. Uh, oh…
(Emily enters and knocks on the box.)
EMILY
Jack?
JACK
Who’s asking?
EMILY
It’s just Emily, from the welfare office.
JACK
Yeah, what do you want?
EMILY
I have a few questions for you. Is that okay?
JACK
I guess. But make it quick. I’m having tea with the mayor this afternoon.
(TED laughs)
EMILY
I’ll keep that in mind. Jack, how long have you been on the streets?
JACK
I don't know, five, six years. Does it look like I have a calendar in here?
EMILY
Where were you living before that?
JACK
Around.
EMILY
Jack, is your real name Alexander Rothschild?
TED
Alexander? Bah ha ha!
JACK
(Scurries out of the box)
Who told you that?
EMILY
Someone is looking for you.
JACK
Well, anyone who knows me by that name, doesn’t want to see me like this. So you just tell them you couldn’t find Alexander Rothschild.
EMILY
Did you have an uncle named Fredrick?
JACK
Uncle Freddy? Yeah, he’s the one who used to take me fishing when I was a kid. I haven't seen him since then. He lived out west some where. California maybe.
EMILY
Well, you must have made quite an impression. There is a lawyer who has been trying to find you. Your uncle left his entire estate to you.
JACK
Estate? This box here is my entire estate.
EMILY
Jack, if what this lawyer tells me is true, you are a very wealthy man.
JACK
I'll believe it when I see it.
EMILY
Come on, I’m supposed to meet him in 15 minutes.
JACK
I guess it couldn't hurt.
(EMILY & JACK exit)
TED
Does this mean I can I have your box?
SCENE 2
The cardboard box now just has a blanket and some pillows. A man in a suit walks up to the box, knocks and calls out for Ted. We recognize the voice as that of Jack. Jack looks around for Ted, who is not to be found. He looks at the box contemplating his past. He pulls out a wad of bills, slides it under the blanket. Jack begins to leave, looks back momentarily at the box, then leaves.
NOTES:
The original sketch at the end of scene 1 had Jack reacting to the fact that he might be a wealthy man by yelling "Woohoo!", throwing his hat in the air and singing "I'm in the money.." During our Wednesday evening practice we decided to go with a more skeptical reaction.
Scene 2 of the original sketch had Ted on stage and Jack returning to take him with him. During our Wednesday evening practice we opted for a more serious, hopefully thought provoking ending that just involved Jack.
(JACK enters, now clean and dressed to the nines. He knocks on the top of the box in which TED is sound asleep)
JACK: Ted! Wake up!
TED: Hey, who do you think you are? This is my box!
JACK: No, it’s mine.
TED: Jack? Well, I declare! Look at you!
JACK: I’ve come to settle some things.
TED: You want your box back?
JACK: No, I’m gonna burn that box in a glorious bonfire.
TED: But Jack, that’s a good box. Why don’t you just leave it to me to take care of it?
JACK: You can’t do that.
TED: Sure I can.
JACK: Nope, because you’re moving in with me. I’ve got a mansion that will make your head spin. Come on Ted, I’m taking you home.
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